I’m going to step off of memory lane and zoom ahead toward the present where I am currently PLANNING A WEDDING. Yes, it’s very exciting. Yes, it’s very stressful. And yes, it’s hard to really get anything you actually thought you might have wanted, because of the loud gospel choir of people telling you what YOU REALLY, REALLY NEED/ACTUALLY WANT/MAYBE/POSSIBLY/WHO CARES I’LL TELL YOU ANYWAY.
See, long ago when I could not clearly envision ever getting married, I had lots of ideas about what I would want my wedding to look like, even if I couldn’t picture who would be joining me there. And then when I got engaged, the actually wedding extravaganza suddenly seemed unimportant because I just want to be married to NF! So I was ready to head to City Hall, have a fancy lunch and call it a day, but alas, that Gospel Choir hunted me down and sang me this song, which I have transcribed for your pleasure.
Why would you want a small wedding???
That does not sound neat!
You must invite 200 people
And have 20 courses to eat!
Those people will give you presents
So you must invite each one
And it must be in New Jersey
In a month with lots of sun!
But plan this all immediately
There’s no time left to waste
Because the dates get snatched up
So please please, do not haste!
Are you feeling calm yet?
Are you feeling oh so glad
As the bride, you should be happy
You should never pout or be sad!
Enjoy this special time, bride
It will go by oh so fast
But don’t enjoy it too much
Because those wedding vendors will pass!