A Lone Wolf

Basic RGBRecently, two of my closest work friends decided to abandon me to survive alone in the cut-throat corporate world. Well…they actually found better opportunities and smartly followed them. I’m almost 100% sure that leaving me in the cut-throat corporate world was not a deciding factor.

Of course, I’m happy for my friends, blah blah blah, “insert congratulations here.” But the past few weeks have made me realize how much time I used to kill chit-chatting, gossiping, shooting the breeze, chewing the fat, spilling the beans….well, you get the point. It’s like I’m the new girl again, without my little pod of confidantes and built-in lunch partners. And I certainly get along with my other coworkers, but just like with everything else, you form your groups. And now my group is me, and occasionally the package delivery guy, when he’s free to gossip for a few!

I guess I just need to try harder to assert myself and “be social.” I remember when I started this job, it took months to feel like I had a group of friends at all, so it takes time! I’ll just leave the gossip and the jokes to the approximately 7 ½ hours a day I’ve been spending g-chatting with my friends that left! Out of sight does not mean out of mind!

What’s My Age: 12, after the first day of 7th grade, convinced you’ll never make any friends. 

O Happy Day!

O Happy DaySo this week has been pretty amazing! Boy, has it been a long time since I’ve had one of those! I’ve been so bogged down lately by job woes, endless to-do lists, and a general feeling of blahness I can’t seem to shake! But a little tweak in the life-outlook, and suddenly I was seeing rainbows…literally! I actually saw a rainbow yesterday.

It started on Monday night, after an amazing rehearsal with my band, which is quickly becoming my saving grace. Music is powerful guys! I was so keyed up, I took a brisk walk home and then promptly fell asleep and slept like a rock for the first time in weeks! And then….I WOKE UP ON TIME! I had enough time to shower, thoughtfully pick an outfit, and dry and coif my hair, without bursting out my front door in a pseudo panic! And I did it again on Wednesday and Thursday! I’m a new woman!

And then to work—where things finally seemed to be happening when they were supposed to, with a minimum amount of email traffic and pointless red tape. Then lunch with old friends! Time for walks in the park on a beautiful day! A saxophonist on the corner playing “Girl from Ipanema”! How was this possibly happening all at once?!

I’ll admit, I’m not the most positive person all the time, and after a few weeks of feeling especially negative, I decided to consciously ride the positivity wave. Well, I should live in my sub-consciousness for a while if this is what it produces! I’m just going to try and enjoy this for as long as it lasts….and I’m going to Port Authority tonight, so imagining it won’t be lasting much longer! Just remember that rainbow….

What’s My Age: A five year old celebrating Halloween, Christmas and their birthday all at once.

The Dress

Basic RGBIt’s been established many times that I have quite a bit of difficulty picking out my outfits in the morning, and that this has an effect on my moods. Now, it’s definitely not due to a shortage of nice clothes to wear, but rather an indecisive mind that keeps me from feeling like I look great!

While I usually start out strong towards the beginning of the week, my worst days are usually towards the end, when I’ve surrendered to the battle and have resorted to closing my eyes and pointing to a random area of my closet to narrow down the selection. And when even that fails, I resort to my fail-safe choice–an easy tank dress with a floral print. I’ve worn this dress year-round, often multiple times a month, despite a closet that is literally filled to bursting.

But for whatever reason, I always get a ton of compliments on this outfit! It’s completely inexplicable to me, because frankly, I think the dress is kind of ugly! Aside from being a simple shift, it has a gaudy floral motif that brings to mind a poorly planned Hawaiian luau! And for good reason–it’s actually a discarded beach cover up that was too long for my mom’s 4’9” frame!

But apparently, this is the apex of my fashion sensibility because I never get more compliments on my clothes than when I wear this outfit. I could spend an hour painstakingly planning out an outfit and it would all be for naught! So fashionistas, take my advice: Don’t waste your time!

What’s My Age: 4, when your mom can’t get you out of your favorite outfit to throw it in the wash. 

Prank Calls

Basic RGBFor whatever reason, my work phone just loves to randomly call my sister at least 10 times a day. I could be holding it in my hand, or have left it on my desk. It could be in my pocket, or safely stowed in my purse. But no matter–at the end of the day, I have a lengthy list of outgoing calls and an even bigger queue of annoyed text messages from my sister: “What’s up?” …”I’m busy, can’t talk.” ….”Why are you calling me?” …. “STOP CALLING ME OMG.” 

Usually, the texts are as far as it goes. But for some reason, on this day, my sister decided to answer one of the (many) calls–right in the middle of a meeting with the entire staff of my office! There we were, sitting in the conference room listening to my boss, when suddenly, a muffled voice broke up the silence. “Hello? HELLO?! HELLLLOOOOOOOO?” Well, completely oblivious, I started giving the side eye to all of my coworkers. “Is this person being serious? Have some respect,” was the haughty look I was trying to portray, before realizing with growing horror it was actually coming from me!

Of course at that point, I couldn’t dig through my pocket, and my sister wasn’t hanging up anytime soon! So for the next two minutes (which felt like two hundred….) I listened with a reddening face as my sister let go of all of her muted frustrations of being on the short list of a phone that never stops calling! “PICK UP THE PHONE! HELLOOOOOO. HELLO? HELLOOOOO??????????”

Needless to say, I’ve since removed my sister from my contacts list and have refiled her as “Do not disturb.”

What’s My Age: 74, a grandma who constantly calls her grandchildren from her flip phone. 

Wide Awake! 

Basic RGBFor the past month or so , I’ve gotten myself into a terrible sleep pattern….of not being able to! Despite feeling tired when I go to bed, the second the lights go off, my brain turns on, a rapid-fire whirring of thoughts that has me tossing and turning for hours!

Why is 2 am always the best time to bring up every thought, memory and feeling you’ve ever had? I have all day to obsess over x, y, or z but it’s only in the dark of night with the hours ticking by that my mind roams free and wild! My body doesn’t care about that time in high school when I left my saxophone on the bus as it drove away, forcing my band teacher to race after it, despite the fact that’s what my brain seems to currently be obsessed with. And my body doesn’t know when I’m going to get married/get a new job/afford my next vacation/become a wildly famous blogger, and would frankly like my mind to just pipe down already!

I’ve been trying lots of different remedies but nothing seems to work. I’ve given up coffee after 1 pm, have sworn off checking my emails right before bed, moved my tv watching to the couch, and have started listening to rain sounds 10-15 minutes before turning off the light. But I don’t seem to be getting anywhere but more sleep-deprived! It frustrates me that I spend all day exhausted, only to be a spit-fire when it doesn’t even count! I would think about it more, but I’ll have all night to nail down a reason!

What’s My Age: 2 months–a sleepless baby. 

Treat Yo-Self

PrintOccasionally, I get the desire to pack in all of my personal hygiene activities into one fun-filled evening. This usually comes after a day when I woke up too late to shower, had a horrible hair day, and was generally cranky and exhausted all day. It’s surprising  this doesn’t happen more often than you would think!

Well, last night was one of those evenings. I got home from a long and taxing day at work, threw on my pjs and started the process of smoothing, tweezing, moisturizing, exfoliating, facialing, brushing, hydrating, clipping and painting various parts of my body. By 11 pm, I looked amazing! Which of course was just about the time I was ready to call it a night and hit the sack. Keeping up with appearances is pretty exhausting!

Well I woke up this morning expecting to see the rosy-cheeked, clear-skinned, well-coiffed lady that I went to bed as, and instead saw a teenage girl with a raging row of pimples all over my chin! My nail polish was smudged, my left eye was red and puffy, and my hair….ugh. Too depressing to even describe. Of course it didn’t help that I overslept and spent a frustrating amount of time choosing an outfit….which I now hate. Guess I know what I’ll be doing tonight!

 What’s My Age: 17, preparing for senior prom, the “best night EVER!”