The Hunt

PrintI’ve been on the job hunt for the last few weeks, and needless to say, it’s been….challenging. I’ve actually started sending myself blank emails to check and see that my email account is actually working! Out of the many emails and applications I have sent out, I’ve heard from exactly one person, who told me that the dog-walking position had been filled. Ah, missed my chance!

There’s absolutely nothing more frustrating than spending a ridiculous amount of time writing cover letters and emails, tweaking resumes and building work portfolios only to get zero response. At this point, I’d take an email response with the word, “No” written in it. Why this seems to be so difficult for the vast majority of people who claim to be “desperate to fill the position” is beyond me!

A few weeks ago, I went on a job interview, and later that day, received an email that said they really liked meeting me and were considering me for the position! Great! So I responded to the email, “That’s great to hear, thank you!” and promptly never heard another word! Obviously I put 2+2 together and realized I did not get the job. But if you’ve already put the effort into emailing me to tell me how great I am, why is it suddenly so challenging to find the courtesy of telling me you went in another direction?

I think my new policy will be that after I send my overly friendly follow-up email, I will send an additional email with the word RUDE in 72-point font. Hey, it may be an unconventional approach, but at this point I don’t have much to lose!

What’s My Age: 22, on the cusp of college graduation, exuding post-grad desperation. 

The Calm Before the Storm

PrintSo February is wrapping up soon which means I’ve been back in the city for almost two months without a job. For the most part, I have remained relatively sane and calm, which is pretty surprising, considering it’s completely out of my control and I don’t typically do well in those scenarios. But what can you do? I apply, I follow up, I wait…I make complicated soups, organize my apartment, and have been reading a book a week. It’s definitely nice to have the time to actually do stuff like that…plus, my closets and dresser haven’t been so neat and color-coordinated since I moved in!

Of course, it’s not all sunshine and domestic zen all the time. Job hunting is stressful, and every time I pass a Starbucks, I imagine myself working behind the counter in a month’s time! But fortunately, the full-blown panic mode I was dreading has yet to hit me full-on. Instead, it’s been a random tidal wave of late-night anxiety…last night’s monologue for example: “I should probably get a job because I really would like to keep my apartment and I wonder if I should maybe move to Seattle or become a ski instructor? I like fresh air! I like skiing! Yes, I will move to Colorado and become a ski instructor. …But what happens if I never get a job again? Will I ever get a job again? Time for sleep!”

But while these random interludes may be happening more frequently the lower my bank account slides, there are many things I haven’t missed about going to work. Maybe it’s the industry I work(ed) in and my personality in it, but it’s been nice to relieve myself of the constant competitive pressure and stress I put on myself. I haven’t missed feeling like I should be upset because someone is doing this and I’m not doing that and she started after me but is doing that and I have experience but am not doing this. …It was exhausting, if you couldn’t gather! So I’m going to try to continue to frame this time as a mentally restorative process where I try to figure out exactly what it is I should be doing with my life. Still leaning towards West-coast ski bum, but no one said practicality was my strong suit…..

What’s My Age: Attempting to be a 45-year old who has recently gone through a mid-life crisis and now has the clarity to follow her dream of opening a Jazzercise studio, with the rich husband to support her aerobic pursuits. #dreamz. 

Blahhhhhhhhh.

PrintI’ve been very lackadaisical lately with my blog posting, mostly because I haven’t really been in the mood to blog….or to do anything at all! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it’s February, when I become continuously cranky and lazy throughout the course of the month. This usually culminates into planning a large vacation for the spring, but I’m currently a little short on funds, so the only thing I have to look forward to is being able to walk outside and not traverse the disgusting eye-level pile of garbage and ice that has been blocking the sidewalk outside of my apartment for three weeks.

I blame the weather, the grayness, and my unemployment for making this a particularly tricky month this year. Say what you will about work, but it typically gets you dressed and out of the house….and for the last several days, I’ve managed only half of the first! It’s amazing how many things go with the same pair of black yoga pants! As much as I’ve been trying to stay motivated and focused on finding a new job and not slumping into the stereotypical sweat-pant donning jobless bum….it’s just been too tempting! Everyday, I wake up and have two options: 1. Get up and embrace the day and it’s challenges or 2. Stay in bed and watch Netflix. I’ll take Door #2!

Sigh, how to get out of this February slump?!?! I could take up a new hobby, maybe finally commit to teaching myself the cello!  …..Or I can just wait 10 days until it’s March. Again….Door #2?!

What’s My Age: 18, on my first college winter break, where I spent the month watching “Say Yes to the Dress” marathons and making up interesting Facebook status updates. 

A Hairy Situation

PrintMy hair and the process of cutting it have always been an extremely emotionally charged process for me (and an endless supply of writing material….). It takes me weeks of build up before I even make an appointment, which leads to several manic filled “preparations.” First, I wander around asking people, “Do you think I really need a haircut?” Then I do some rigorous internet research for “celebrity bobs with side bangs.” And then there is the late-night breakdown when I stand in front of my bathroom mirror with a pair of scissors, convinced I should probably just do it myself, before wisely changing tacts.

Then there is the cut itself, where I watch the hair that I suddenly love fall in pieces to the floor! It seems worth it for the five minutes of post-cut elation, where I think it looks “GREAT!” But then, finally, there is the realization that I AM UGLY AND I HATE MY HAIR AND OMG WHY????

I really wish I could get my emotions under control when it comes to my coif, but unfortunately it’s just not possible for me. But now I’m in desperate need of a haircut–I’m dangerously towing the line of looking like I’ve “let myself go”…not a good look for someone who is already unemployed! But this time around I’m even more nervous, because last time I got my haircut, I was convinced into getting blunt bangs. Two days later, I quit my job, and then subsequently moved to a new city/became wildly miserable/left my job/moved home/moved back to the city/had no money/became panicked/hated my hair some more. Thanks, blunt bangs! YOU DID THIS TO ME.

What’s My Age: 3, when I got my first haircut, a hideous bowl cut that set the stage for a lifetime of hair angst.