Screen Shot 2018-06-28 at 1.39.36 PMSo I know I dropped some preeeettyyyy big news on the blog this week, and it’s kind of like, how do I expect people to process the fact that last time we talked, I was literally the most single person the world had ever seen and could not get guys to go on dates lasting longer than 45 minutes, and somehow I’ve locked down a person that wants to stay with me for the REST OF OUR EARTHLY DAYS?! …Yea, it’s nuts.

So…how did this happen? Basically right before I met NF (REMINDER: “Now-fiance”…meh, I tried.), I had what is known as a “come to Jesus moment.” I was once again in the throes of a very weird non-relationship “thing,” where I was trying really, really, really hard and he was trying, um, not hard at all. And even though I knew this was happening, that this was a pattern that had been repeated over and OVER with the same result (ghosting/sadness/endless scrolling), I still found myself trying to make something out of nothing.

So then I was out to dinner with a friend, filling her in on my dating frustrations. Like I was reading from a script, I moaned about how I didn’t understand why this wasn’t really going anywhere. So she asked what I liked about him. I said he was a real adult. He had a real job. He lived in an apartment. He cooked food. But instead of humoring me, she just went, “It actually sounds like you don’t like him. You basically described a generic human.”  

Well. WELL. …That was news to me. I had been thinking I needed to work super hard for this to be something, basically because he…existed?  “Existence” was a trait that decided whether a person was dateable or not?! No–NOT TODAY. NOT AGAINNNNNN.

The relationship petered out, and instead of being like, “I WILL DIE ALONEEEEEEE,” I was like, I AM DONE WITH THIS. And Jesus said, “FINALLY OMG.” (Just kidding, not how Jesus talks, sorry to my grandma for taking the Lord’s name in vain etc. etc. etc.)  

And then literally 2 days later, I met NF.

To be continued mwah ha ha (this is a cliffhanger.)  

What’s My Age: 15, staring in a drama-club production of “Everything is Hard.” 

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